AI News Today: the latest, the workforce impact, and the real talk
AI Apocalypse? More Like AI Paper Cut.
Oh great, another AI doomsday prediction. This time, MIT says AI can swipe 12% of U.S. jobs. [https://www.example.com] (Yeah, I'm citing an imaginary link, deal with it.) 12%! That's the headline designed to make you spill your coffee, right? Except, if you actually read the damn report, it's not quite as scary.
It's not a prediction, it's a "stress-test". A what-if scenario. Like, maybe AI could do this stuff, if companies actually bothered to implement it, and if it wasn't cheaper to just keep paying humans.
The "Digital Twin" of Bullshit
They built a "digital twin of the U.S. labor market." Seriously? It sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi movie. They track 32,000 skills across 923 job types? Who has time for this? I'm barely keeping track of my own skills, which, let's be honest, mostly involve complaining online.
Prasanna Balaprakash, some director at Oak Ridge National Laboratory, told CNBC this "digital twin" crap. These people are so out of touch with reality. They're playing SimCity with people's lives. What's next, they gonna start tweaking the tax code in the game to see if it causes a virtual recession?
And the kicker? The MIT report itself admits that "capability does not automatically translate into widespread job losses." So, what are we even talking about? It's like saying I could win the lottery if I bought a ticket. Technically true, but about as likely as me becoming a productive member of society.
White-Collar Panic Attack
Okay, so the robots aren't coming for the burger-flipping jobs (yet). No, they're after the "knowledge-heavy fields" – finance, healthcare administration, human resources. All those soul-crushing, office jobs. Good riddance, I say.
They're worried about AI doing "routine tasks" in legal and accounting. Newsflash: most of those tasks are already outsourced to some poor sap in Bangalore making ten bucks an hour. AI just automates the automation.
But wait, there's more! Google's stock is surging because of AI! [https://www.another-fake-link.com] Of course it is. The tech bros are patting themselves on the back while the rest of us are trying to figure out how to pay rent. The article says analysts have set a "price target high of $355.00 CAD." Who cares? That money ain't trickling down to me.
Offcourse, Google's "strategic emphasis on cloud infrastructure" is driving growth. Translation: they're selling AI tools to companies so they can fire their employees. It's the circle of life, except instead of lions and gazelles, it's robots and unemployed accountants.
AI-Powered Food? Give Me a Break.
Oh, and let's not forget the AI-powered food industry. [https://www.yetanotherfictitiouslink.com] AI is "mapping taste and texture" and "predicting consumer preferences." They're using AI to make food now? What happened to just, you know, cooking something that tastes good?
They talk about "sustainability" and "supply chain agility." It's all corporate buzzword bingo. The real reason they're using AI is to cut costs and maximize profits. They don't give a damn about the planet or your health. They just want to sell you more processed garbage.
Alisia Heath from NotCo (whoever the hell they are) says AI helps R&D teams "overcome long-standing bottlenecks." I bet it does. It helps them create Frankenfoods that are technically edible but completely devoid of any nutritional value.
They're even using AI to "model claims and preferences" so they can figure out what kind of lies to tell you on the packaging. "No added sugar!" "High protein!" It's all marketing bullshit.
Then again, maybe I'm the crazy one here. Maybe AI is going to solve all our problems. Maybe it's going to create a utopia where everyone is happy and well-fed and no one has to work.
Nah. I don't buy it.